He suggested it, the boat trip across the lake. It was His idea, even though it was an ordinary move, a simple transition, and we got in the boat without much thought. None of us would have predicted the huge storm that bore down upon us and battered our small vessel so that I was sure we would all drown.
I bailed frantically, but my small efforts were of no effect against the huge waves that broke over us. I was angry with Him. It seemed He did not care that we were in such peril. Or at least, He was doing nothing about it. Did He not understand how fragile our craft against these storms? Of course He can sleep – He is God, what can a storm do to Him? But this storm could have killed some or all of us—why was He asleep and silent at a time like this? If He loves us as He says, why was He letting us drown?
Then, with one word from Him, the storm was over. And I see that once again, I have not done what I long to do. I have failed to live by trusting the Lord God Almighty who loves me.
He didn’t ask me to walk across the water to Him. All He asked was that I trust in His presence, that I rest safe in His love. Yet now, after the storm has calmed, I hear Him say, yet again, “Why were you so afraid? You have so little faith.”
His brother, James, wrote, Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
So now I confess. After all these years with Him, after I have seen with my own eyes proof of His care and provision and love—yet still I doubted. How little my faith. I hear His words and feel my own sorrow.
Lord Jesus! Hear my cry. Heal my unbelief and teach me to rest secure in Your love.